Wednesday, July 1

बेवफाई तेरी मार गयी.....

दोस्तों, काफी दिनों से रंजित और मंदिरा की कहानी 'काला गुलाब' ख़त्म करना चाहता हूँ, मस्तिष्क में वो कहानी, वो अंत समोवेश है, परन्तु ना जाने क्यों उसे लिख नहीं पा रहा | अब तो मुझे लगता है उसे लिखने का कोई तुक भी नहीं, क्यूंकि, द्वितीय अंक में भी उसका समापन शोभित है | मेरे दिमाग में जो समापन अंक संयोजित है, वो कईयों को शायद न लुभाए! उसका अंत जो मैंने सोच रखा है, उसमे खुशहाल अंत नहीं है! उसमे जुदाई है, दर्द है, रक्त है, मौत है! और मोरादाबादी साहब की वो पंक्तिया तो सुनी ही होगी अपने, "तारुफ़ रोग बन जाए, तो उसे भूलना बेहतर| तालुक बोझ बन जाये, तो उसका तोड़ना अच्छा"| लेकिन एक नए कहानी का वादा दिए जाता हूँ, एक नए परिचय का एहसास छोडे जाता हूँ, इन कुछपंक्तियों के माध्यम से, जो बरसात की इस अकेले तनहा रात की, मेरे और मेरे तन्हाई की गवाह थी....हमसफ़र, हमनवा थी .....

अपनी टिपण्णी देना न भूले.... उम्मीद में, आप सब का....



कमोबेश तेरी चाह मुझे मार गयी
बची थी जो सांस, आह उसे मार गयी
उतावला होके करता रहा बेसब्र इन्तजार
वो इन्तजार मुझे मार गयी
जलाये रखा था चराग तेरे लिए
वो रौशनी, वो चराग मुझे मार गयी
तूफ़ान में भी कांपता, ठहरा रहा मै
तेरे ना आने से, वो कंपन मार गयी
इन्तजार बेहद ही बेआबरू हुई
वो दर्द, वो जिल्लत मुझे मार गयी
अब बस न करेंगे तेरा एतबार
ये ख्याल, ये अंजाम मुझे मार गयी
मेरे जाने से, कुछ और तो न हुआ
लेकिन, जिंदगी, मुहब्बत तू हार गयी
ये बेदर्द, बेरहम, अंजाम तेरा
कमोबेश मुझे फिर से मार गयी ||

- राजीव रंजन 'राज'







आप सोच रहे होंगे, की आज हिंदी का राह में मैं कैसे चल पड़ा ....बहुत कशमोकश वाली बात नहीं है, हिंदी का मैं शुरू से प्रयोग करता आया हु, अपने ऑरकुट पृष्ट पर भी मैंने हिंदी को काफी जोर से भींचा हुआ है| हिंदी से प्रेम प्रसंग मेरा काफी पुराना है, अपने विद्यालय जीवन में भी काफी काव्य, कहानिया हिंदी में लिखी थी| बस आज मन किया, की उन सब जगह पे जाऊ जो की कभी मेरा था, जहा पर मै कभी था, जहा एक गर्व था, एक सफलता की मुस्कान थी, जहा संघर्ष में भी आंसू ना थे, गोया मन चाहा अपने गाँव में, मैंने जहा महीने दो महीने, बचपन में पढ़ा था, उस विद्यालय में उस बरगद के पेड़ के नीचे जाऊ, अपना बोरा बिछाऊ, और बस्ता लेके बैठ जाऊ, प्यास लगे तो बगल में कुँए में रस्सी डालु, और बाल्टी से वो शीतल जल अपने ऊपर उडेल लूं | वो बरगद, वो नीम के पेड़, वो चापाकल का पानी, वो गोबर की गोएथा पे बनी लिट्टी की सोंध खुसबू जिसको देसी घी में डुबोया गया हो | आह! प्रतीत होता है वो सदी कही और छुट गयी! ये जमाना बदल गया, वो ग्राम पंचायत बजहिंया भी बदल गया | खैर बदलते वक़्त के साथ, बदलना ही चतुरता है ......

"बाँध के रखो इन ख्यालो को....कम्बखत आसमां तक उडान भरते है "




मशहूर कवी, उपेन्द्र कुमार के इन तपिश भरे शब्दों के साथ, मेरा नमस्कार.....
बेअसर हो तो फिर दुआ क्या है
चल के रुक जाये तो हवा क्या है

लोग हंसते हुए झिझकते हैं
ये इन्हें रोग सा लगा क्या है

ग़म हैं, मजबूरियां हैं, किस्मत में
फिर ये कोशिश, ये हौसला क्या है

23 comments:

Prashant said...

इर्शाद इर्शाद! वाह। वाकई में मुझे यह कविता बहुत भाई। बस उर्दू शब्दों के बीच हिंदी का शब्द "समापन" थोड़ा खटका... पर मानना पड़ेगा!

Prashant said...

और Google Translator के सौजन्य से आपकी कविता का अंग्रेज़ी अनुवाद :

I was trying to kill you more or less
Breath had left the, ah have to kill him
Hoke was excited impatient wait
That wait was killing me
Crag had Jlaye for you
That light, he was hitting me Crag
Shivering in the storm, I was appointed
Your not coming, he did kill vibration
Was the most humiliated wait
That pain, she was killing me Jillt
Now you just will not Atbar
This thought, this conclusion was killing me
I go to, and some not so
But, life, love you lost
This unrelenting, merciless, your result
I almost got hit again | |

Rajeev R said...

@ Prashant


hehe...thanx....

I thought, when we use both Hindi and Urdu in our conversation, why not in poem! But, I guess, thats a literary misadventure....!!
hehe...would try to take care next time.



And Google translator: lolz.

But I guess, we need geeks like you...and things would get fine....and not the way, it has translated now.

Anonymous said...

nice effort!
your ideas, presentation was very good...
but there is something i noticed even in the last blog you had written in hindi...
hindi ka prayog karna achchi baat hai...parantu yeh anivarya hai ki uska sahi prayog kiya jaye...
ek kavya mein, vichar prastuti ke liye ek kavi ko swatantrata avashya milti hai...kintu us swatantrata se us bhasha ki maryada bhang nahi honi chahiye.
ling par thoda adhik dhyan dein...

yeh avashya kahoongi ki antim khand atyadhik lubhavni yaadon ki or mann mastishk ko kheench le gaya... aur peeche chute kal ki bhini bhini khushbuon ke beech chhod aaya...

bahut hi achchi koshish ki aapne...

shrey bhatt said...

i liked ur blog
i m following u now
thank u
one time see my blog also its a new one
i hope u will definitely see

Preeti Rana said...

wow!!!
this post came as a breeze!!!
i must say it would not had this kind of impact in english..what it have now in hindi!!!
your description of memories is very heart touching!!!

श्याम कोरी 'उदय' said...

... bahut khoob !!!!

Zubin said...

Bloody Brilliant..One whole year with you and I could never discover this part of your personality..

Mahesh Sindbandge said...

Hmmm.... I knew it when i read the second part of "Black Rose" that it should have been the end but when u said, there wud be a continuation to it, i thought why not...
Am glad it ended somewhere i thought it to end exactly.. :-)

This poem is very good, i donno how much you struggled for that line "maar gayi " to be there through out the poem...

I am not sure, whether i am right in saying so... few corrections i have in mind, if you feel they connect well..do put them...

in 4th line
kambakhq wo intezaar bhi mujhe maar gayi...
6th line
tera na aana, vo kampan mujhe maar gayi...
9th line
intezaar tera behad be-aabru hui
11th line
ab kabhi na karenge hum tera aetbaar
12th line
yeh khayal, yeh haal mujhe maar gayi
last line
kamovesh phir se mujhe maar gayi..

In most of the lines, i ahve tried to put mujhe maar gayi in tact :-)

No , i dint think why you wrote this in hindi. in fact to me it was a refreshing change Raaj.
It reminds me of my school days, when i used to master hindi in my class.

Few words, which i have read in along time ,reminded me of fe incidents, when i argued with my teacher over its meaning.... :-P

This thought is superb...
"bandh ke rakho..." wala...
It makes lot of sense..

Do i need to say more, when the poem of upendra says it all...

Cheers
Mahesh

Rajeev R said...

@ Anonymous: Dhanyabad, apke purn vishleshna ke liye. Ling me kucch dikkate hongi, manta hu! Kya kare, Bihari hai na! LoL. Meri Hindi vaise to theek thak hai, lekin mera uncharan aur ling wali baat, mujhe kuye me dhakel deti hai....bahut bahut dhanyabad.

Ise sudharne ki koshishkarunga

@ Shreya:

Thanx and keep visitng :-)

@preeti :

Yeah, yeah! Thanx for commenting. Appreciation is always appreciable!

@Shyam Kori:

Thank you sir. My Honour!

@Zubin: Than a ton, bro. But which year are u talking about??? I guess, we never met even! Correct me, if I am wrong.


@ Mahesh

Hmm....thank you dear for the detailed reply...your point taken.
Aah...master of Hindi, hope to see your some post in in. M sure, you will carry the magic with it, even!
Black Rose, has ended.

Hehe....

Keep visiting :-)

divsi said...

lovely! maashallah!:)read in hindi after so long thnx to u...i m ashamed it being my national lang...:(

btw: i loved yr idea of the series:) m up for it netym...ask mahesh too:)
n yeah i l come bac in read yr blogs completely in free tym:)[i m yearnin for free time ;)]

cheers!:)

p.s: i m about to update blog[aftA yr comment] wid a poem written long bac:)

divyakshi

Rajeev R said...

@divsi...


Lets follow up with the idea, once u get free...

thanx for dropping by!

achilles said...

the idea of a little of everything is awesome n very inspiring.a remarkable and genuine thought.surely a sign of hallowed thinker n a genius author.its appealing to masses.

roide said...

When i read it for the first time, to humko wo purana wala film yaad aa gaya, jisme wo gana tha, accha sila diya tune mere pyar kaa... haha

Dusri bad pada to college ke din yaad aa gae, 11th 12th ke beech wala, jab road ke kinare, college ke bahar, khade hoke intezar kiya kiya karte the,

Third time pada to laga, yarr kaushik, tum to sale abhi bhi isi condition me ho,intezar karne ke alawa tum kuch karte to ho nahi,

fir neecha wali line padi,

बेअसर हो तो फिर दुआ क्या है
चल के रुक जाये तो हवा क्या है

लोग हंसते हुए झिझकते हैं
ये इन्हें रोग सा लगा क्या है

ग़म हैं, मजबूरियां हैं, किस्मत में
फिर ये कोशिश, ये हौसला क्या है

To laga hmmm kaushik beta, this is life. :)

Majaa aaya. :)
And honestly, isko padne ke baad to exact feeling dil me aai, uske liye koi word nahi hai dictionary me. :D
It was good, very good.

Mahesh Sindbandge said...

Raj,

Remove your self from Top Commentors.Its not fair on your part :-P
I think there was an option in which you can avoid few names.

If not, try my widget...

P.S : I want to top that list :-)

Cheers

Zubin said...

No need to correct you. I believe you have already identified me. right?

Rajeev R said...

@achilles

Thank you so very much for the kind words. All I want is a little of everything...and I have tried to retain the philosophy in the blog as well.
Thank you, yet again...for the inspiring words.

@ roide:

वो इन्तेजार, इन्तेजार न रह जायेगा
यदि वो लंबित न हो
वो प्यार प्यार न रह जायेगा
यदि आप तनिक अचंभित न हो
इस इन्तेजार का एक अपना ही मजा है, कौशिक
आप जरा धीरज रखे दोस्त, हतोस्ताहित न हो...

and yeah, thanx for reading it so many times over.
If I read it so many times, would have deleted it. Itni saari kamiya dikhne lagti hai. By the way, accha hai isliye itni baar padha, ya incomprehensible hai isliye... lol

@Mahesh

Mahashay, aap hi is katar me sabse aage hai, baaki sab to kaafi peeche hai. Btw, apke site wala widget lagay, parantu aekshik parinam nahi prapt ho pa raha hai.


@Zubin...

I knew u as, Amit Saxena, Zubin was a new and unheard name in my acquaitance/friend/family list...So was surprised! I cherish that I came to know of you, Glad that, we met again. Now,stay put...

and yeah, thanx for dropping by!

Mahesh Sindbandge said...

Wow...i am top on the list :-)

i see so many widgets... i love such blogs.. :-)


tumhari song collection bhi bahut achchi hai raaj

Cheers..

Poonam Agrawal said...

Hindi aur English dono mein hi aapki pakad ahchi hai .....yr blog is very interesting.....Keep it up..

Rajeev R said...

@ Mahesh:

Thanx for the comments...I removed many widget, because they were taking much time to load the page...and yeah, I love these songs...so put it. Anyways, thanx


@Poonam

Thanx a ton...for the compliments...

Anubha said...

Brilliant post!
Loved this one :)

I wish I was as skilled at poetry as you are :P

Keep them coming!

Take care.

Anubha

Rajeev R said...

@ Anubha...

Thanx....

and its not that I do poetry...My mood gets me the groove and the spice.

muskaan said...

vaise to a number of people have given you a number of good good comments, but i want to add, kitni pyari pyari yaadein ko yaad kiya aur karaya aapne.
and the poem is soooo nice. it evokes strong emotions :)