NEUROTIC

This is yet again, in the series of the lost-and-found poems. This was one, which I had wrote when I was 16. I was in the happiest of mood, and one of my friend was in his worse. I wrote it, impersonating him. As if, I were HE. Foolish and Naive, as I was. And As I  am. Here is it...

A neurotic

When the sun rises
I start feeling sick
This 'd be the time
when I'd be lonely
admist the big crowd.
But accompanies me hope.
The hope of a special one.
Who shall bare away all
my undisturbed loneliness
There has been times
when my eyes had sparkled
with the sight of smiling faces
which promised me vibrant life
but soon they withdrew back.
Leaving in a situation worse.
The INCOMPLETE ME!

I'm like the spiky thorny cactus
which is valued in deserts, alone
to quench the thirst of passer-by
The passer-by
who are not there to stay.
The valueless rogue
Unwanted in garden
of vibrant colored flower
where even my touch pinches
and oozes the blood out of
my sole lover; The Gardener.
The pious liquid i store
is of no use to those
living on river banks,
the place where my heart wanna be.
Satisfied, I'm watching
the wet lips and joys of passers-by.
The thorny untuchable ME!

Whenever I desired success
It ran far away, and
it was never too near.
As if it were the wind
which 'd ignite the spark; ME.
And others 'd be charred.
My failures,
The big ice blocks
uncountable in number
distinct and vivid
has doused me long before.
Now I need the wind
to live, to breathe.
My diluted strength
refuses now to SPARK.
The lifeless ME!

The only thing I Know
Is I have to live.
I have to fight back, anyhow
I've to get rid of somehow,
my unwished company
Failures, Loneliness, Sickness
Impoverishment, Hatred.
The life has to go, atleast move
and has to be for long
And it got to be strong.
Vibrant colors, Sparkle, Joys
will have to come to me.
Waiting for someone to
hold my hands and hug me
Someone.....who's there forever.
The waiting ME..........